I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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