you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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