Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
