I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
