did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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