Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I need moral support for this bender
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
