I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
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