at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
