do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
