thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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