just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
