quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
