Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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