Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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