so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
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So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
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Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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