Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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