We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
