So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
