Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize