I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
