i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
