the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize