So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
