if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
