Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
