You work out of a Hotel?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
