But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
