I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I have post one night stand depression
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
