i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
