so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My vagina just recognized that song.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
