so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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