She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
