I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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