She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
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