I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
