There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wear drunk well.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
