At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
