I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
