plz talk dirty to me
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
