Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize