The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
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