I'm drive I can fine osifer
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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