dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
