I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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