I'm laying in your front yard are you home
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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