my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
