Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
"it" just moved
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
