if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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