just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize