Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
