If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
