i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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