i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
