My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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