He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
