I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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