I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
