I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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