i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
