She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
